STOP SCROLLING.
you have a nice butt
OKAY. CONTINUE.
(Source: dirty-purple-suit, via imatmybestwhenimwithyou)
- men: I can’t stand girls with low self-esteem, it’s such a turn off
- men: Ew a fat girl ew stretch marks I want to be able to pick a girl up and kiss her and hold her in the air wow she has a flat chest mosquito-bite boobs oh gosh I don’t like boobs that big they get in the way I want a flat tummy on my girl oh she has to have a great body no love handles yuck beef curtains are gross I like big nipples I like small nipples yuck thunder thighs no that’s too thin you look anorexic I love curves no not plus-size just skinny girls with small waists and big hips wow caked on make-up is such a turn-off yet I worship this celebrity that has never been seen without make-up and I watch porn so my idea of a real woman is thousands of dollars in plastic surgery and I have unreasonable standards that real women will never be able to attain
me when i have kids
- daughter/son: hey mom i really like this ban-
- me: OHMYGOD WHEN DOES THEIR TOUR START? DO YOU WANT SOME BAND MERCH?? WHEN ARE THEY COMING HERE? DO U WANT SOME TICKETS TO GO SEE THEM? DO U WANT VIP TICKETS?? DO U WANT TO SNEAK BACKSTAGE WITH ME TO GO MEET THEM? DO U WANT ME TO FANGIRL WITH U? U WANT ME TO HELP U GET TO THE BARRICADE ? U WANNA GET MATCHING SHIRTS??
